Kelly 
In a wild twist that’s got X buzzing, politicians are now banking big bucks from lobbyists to treat satire news as fact, shattering what was left of rational discourse in a scandal dubbed “SatireGate.” Hashtags like #SanityIsOverrated and #CashForCrazy are exploding online.
Back in 2022, “normal” went out the window. People were hoarding toilet paper and debating if birds were drones, while satire sites like The Onion and The Babylon Bee churned out headlines like “Congress Bans Water for Energy Drinks” that felt too real. The line between satire and reality vanished.
Then came the “crazy drug” era—rumors of a glitter-energy-drink concoction sweeping political circles. Suddenly, those once called “unhinged” for believing 5G towers controlled minds were running the show. “The crazy ones get it,” tweeted @TinfoilPatriot, racking up millions of followers.
Lobbyists jumped in, offering lawmakers $500,000 to push satirical headlines as policy. Rep. Chad Bumble (R-FantasyLand) introduced the “Flat Earth Education Act” based on a spoof article, waving a fat check and saying, “Science is just vibes.” Senator Linda Whackadoo (D-Narnia) got a bill passed to swap stop signs for dance zones, inspired by a Babylon Bee post with 12 million likes. It passed 52-48, proving memes trump sanity.
Meanwhile, the new satire site Dirtinabottle has been offered a few thousand dollars by media outlets to churn out blatant lies disguised as satire. Of course, we refused, stating, “Satire is what comes to mind for us, not something scripted and paid for.”
“This is lobbyists weaponizing satire,” said Dr. Nora Reason, a political scientist now living in a yurt. “Normal used to be tax debates. Now it’s ‘Is the moon a drone?’ The crazy crowd is winning.” Her X thread hit 1.4 million views before a Bigfoot-in-Congress video stole the spotlight.
X is loving it. “This is peak chaos,” posted @MemeLord420 with a tinfoiled government building meme. But @SaneSusan’s call for reason got buried by alien lobbyist conspiracies. Insiders say politicians saw satire as a cash cow. “Why fund roads when you can tweet about lizard people?” an aide said before their X account was banned.
As SatireGate grows, rumors hint at “Flat Earth Futures” offering $2 million to call gravity a “suggestion.” X users are already hyping a toaster for president. The internet’s broken, but it’s a wild ride.
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Jaime 
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