BREAKING: Top 5 Little-Known Ways to Absolutely Ruin Your Summer (Backed by Absolutely No Science)
Jaime 
1. Start a Neighborhood Bagpipe Band—At 3 A.M.
Look, summer nights are for vibes, right? But who needs “tranquility” and “sleep” when your street could echo with the nostalgic wail of 12 bagpipes? Bonus points if no one knows how to play. The local HOA will love you.
2. Open an Indoor S’mores Café Without Ventilation
Invite friends over, light a dozen campfires inside, and serve s’mores under a thick cloud of sugary smoke. It’s rustic! It’s trendy! It’s a violation of multiple fire codes and now everyone smells like burnt marshmallow and despair.
3. Launch a DIY Mosquito Breeding Startup
Invest in 14 kiddie pools, fill them with stagnant water, and market it as an “eco-conscious insect sanctuary.” By August, you’ll be a legend—just not in the way you hoped. Great for learning about bite-induced existential crises.
4. Join a Sandcastle Pyramid Scheme
Why build sandcastles for fun when you could turn it into a business opportunity? Recruit five friends, who recruit five more, and before you know it, you’re bankrupt and banned from every beach in a tri-state radius.
5. Attempt to AirBnB Your Backyard as a “Luxury Wilderness Retreat”
Inflate a kiddie pool, hang a dreamcatcher, and call it “Zen Garden Experience #1248.” Charge $300 a night. When raccoons join your guests for s’mores at 2 a.m., blame it on “local charm.” Refund not included.
In Conclusion:
Summer is what you make it. But if what you make is an indoor bonfire party with bagpipes and 3,000 mosquitoes, then congratulations—you’ve officially made a mess.
About the Author
Kelly 
bdirt