Breaking News: Gaming Industry Announces Official “Infinite Delay” Strategy to Preserve Hype Forever
Jaime 
The gaming world has entered a bold new era—one where release dates are merely suggestions and gameplay trailers feature more pre-rendered cinematics than actual mechanics. Publishers across the industry have adopted a revolutionary new strategy known as “Infinite Delay,” a sophisticated method designed to keep gamers in a state of perpetual anticipation without ever delivering a finished product.
“Gamers love waiting,” said Todd Hypewell, an executive at GameCorp Unlimited. “Why release a game when you can release a teaser for a teaser that hints at a potential future gameplay reveal? It builds engagement while saving development costs. Brilliant!”
Industry experts agree, pointing to the wildly successful cycle of games that have been delayed for a decade, like Elder Scrolls VI: Still Just a Logo and Grand Theft Auto VI: The Year 2050 Edition. Even Nintendo, previously known for delivering actual finished games, has embraced the concept with the anticipated Zelda: Waiting of the Wild—a game where Link must embark on an epic quest to restore a calendar that only counts delays.
In a surprising twist, indie developers have announced their own response to this trend: actually finishing their games. This shocking decision has rocked the industry, with larger publishers condemning the act as “too ambitious and reckless.”
Gamers React
Despite widespread complaints, studies show that players continue to pre-order games that may never actually release. “I spent $300 on the deluxe collector’s edition that includes an empty steelbook and a code for future disappointment,” said one anonymous gamer. “But hey, at least I got a bonus skin that doesn’t work yet.”
Meanwhile, streamers and content creators are thriving by endlessly speculating about games that exist only in concept art form. The lack of actual content has only fueled engagement, proving once and for all that the best video game is the one that never actually arrives.
In Other News:
- Graphics are improving so much that gameplay is now considered a “legacy feature.”
- The latest Battle Royale shooter has 400 identical skins, but zero new maps.
- AI-generated NPCs in open-world games have started unionizing for better dialogue options.
Stay tuned for more updates—assuming they don’t get delayed.
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