Breaking: Moonlight Is Just Sunlight That’s Been ‘Aged Like Fine Wine,’ Claims Influencer
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In a claim that has sparked debates from science forums to astrology TikTok, wellness influencer and self-proclaimed “Cosmic Sommelier” Luna Glimmer announced that moonlight is nothing more than “vintage sunlight,” meticulously aged through space-time to enhance its energy-healing properties.
According to Glimmer, the moon acts as a celestial decanter, filtering out “toxic solar vibes” and infusing the light with cosmic undertones. “When sunlight reflects off the moon, it goes through an alchemical transformation,” she said in a live-streamed crystal-bathing ritual. “That’s why moonlight is softer, more romantic, and great for charging crystals—it’s basically sunlight with all the bad stuff aged out.”
Glimmer further recommended an exclusive new product: bottled moonlight. Priced at $199 per vial, her artisanal moonlight essence is said to contain traces of lunar energy and purified dew harvested at midnight. Skeptics have pointed out that the essence looks suspiciously like tap water in a glittery bottle, but Glimmer insists it’s “infused with the moon’s divine essence.”
Meanwhile, amateur astronomers have reported an uptick in moon-related activity, with fans trying to “capture moonlight in jars” and conducting experiments to determine whether moonlight tastes different from sunlight (spoiler: it doesn’t).
NASA has declined to comment on the controversy, though an anonymous insider was overheard saying, “The moon’s PR team is loving this.”
What do you think? Should we keep building on this cosmic chaos, or tackle something else entirely?
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